| Kelsey and Morgan The story of two puppy mill girls |
| This story was written by and given to us by John and Dana Bates, the grieving owners of these two little angels. John and Dana adopted these two sweet girls from PMRescue and are sharing their story with us all. Thank you to all involved. |
| Kelsey |
| Morgan |
The Final Chapter Kelsey was born and raised in a puppy mill. She produced litter after litter in the worst of environments until her body was no longer able. Perhaps the first real kindness shown to her was the day she was granted freedom and delivered to John and I. Thank you, Aunt Jan, for that. Kelsey arrived in our home in a damaged little body, both inside and out. Over time, we discovered that Kelsey had sustained neurological damage from blows to the head. Things that come naturally to a dog were beyond Kelsey's ability. She did not bark for many months. When she first tried, she made sounds I had never heard from a dog. Gradually, she started trying to mimic Lexi's barks. She learned that her voice had a purpose and a meaning and she began to look at us when she barked and we knew that she was trying to tell us something specific. It took a year, but she finally learned her name. Unfortunately, as Kelsey - the real Kelsey, the gentle and loving little girl - struggled to come to the surface and introduce herself, another side emerged. Without warning, Kelsey began to attack Lexi - almost always when Lexi was asleep with her back to Kelsey. We learned that this was not a behavior issue, but something more like a seizure. Lexi caught on quicker than we did. Instead of being angry or afraid of Kelsey following an attack, Lexi wanted to check on Kelsey and make sure she was okay. She seemed to know that Kelsey did not mean to hurt her. John and I sought help from everyone we could think of: doctors, specialists, behaviorists, rescue people with more experience. We tried medications, time outs, supervision, patience, but nothing seemed to help. Kelsey simply could not control the behavior. Wednesday evening I came home from work to my worst nightmare. Kelsey's demons attacked and Morgan paid with her life. Morgan was gone. The kitchen was a bloody mess. Kelsey was curled up in a bed in the corner barely able to stand. Lexi and McKenna were outside calling for help that did not come. As the night went on, Kelsey slipped farther and farther away. Her eyes were glazed over and unable to focus. By the next day she could not walk, hold her head up, open or close her eyes or mouth all the way. She had lost control of her body and looked out from deep within in despair. I bathed her one last time, dressed her in her favorite t-shirt and a pretty pink hair bow and held her close. John and I took her to the park to have some quiet time. Kelsey loves tortilla chips. So, John brought chips and Kelsey crunched chips, her favorite snack. Even though she had trouble swallowing them, we let her crunch away to give her one last bit of joy. By the time we got to Dr. Carroll's office, Kelsey was slipping faster. With tears in his eyes, Dr. Carroll noted that we wore matching shirts. Kelsey ended her time here in her mommy's loving arms looking up in the loving eyes of her mommy and her daddy. We each whispered that we love her and John introduced her to Chandra. And we said good-bye to the second little girl in as many days. She's gone. But she will never be forgotten. Kelsey, who was passed over and left behind until it was too late, deserves to have her story told. Kelsey was born to be a loving little girl. She tried so hard to live up to her Yorkie destiny. It was not God's design or even poor breeding or poor diet that caused Kelsey to lash out. Kelsey's body lashed out and she simply could not control it. She was not angry or enraged; she was simply not herself. The cause was intentional, repetitive abuse at the hands of a human. Kelsey was struck in the head hard enough to permanently damage brain cells and cause a condition that continued to deteriorate more than a year after she was released. Kelsey was not angry and did not seek revenge. She simply lost the ability to control her body. It would not do what she wanted and she was powerless to stop it from doing that which she did not want. Kelsey loved Morgan and would never hurt her. Yes. Morgan was killed. But not by Kelsey. Kelsey's demons killed both our girls. Hitting a ten-pound dog locked in a tiny cage with a board is nothing less than evil. There is no justification for that kind of behavior. It is not self-defense. It is not acceptable. It is not anyone's right. It is reprehensible. It is easy to ignore, forget or disbelieve the horrors of a puppy mill dog's past when you are staring in the face of a beautiful little girl wearing a pink t-shirt and fancy hair bow. People see our girls lined up looking all pretty and healthy and spoiled and well behaved and they smile think how pretty they are. They don't see them flinch when their daddy reaches to pick them up or their food crunches too loudly. They don't know that Kelsey had nightmares that resulted in bloodshed. They don't know that Kelsey had to work harder and longer for the simplest of things. They don't know that the truth is Kelsey was given too little too late. We think it admirable, and it is, to rescue a dog - to choose a damaged adult instead of a perfect puppy. But I beg each of you to remember that inside that precious little face may be a time bomb waiting to explode and claim one or more lives. There are things I wish I had done differently, but I honestly believe we did the best anyone could have done for Kelsey. NEVER would we have left her behind or turned our backs on her. I looked and looked for signs that Kelsey was having a bad day, or about to go after her sister, but there were no visible signs. They say hindsight is 20/20, but that is not always true. Some things remain hidden. I still encourage people to adopt a rescue, but please do so with open eyes as well as an open heart. Understand that not all the damage they suffer can be seen with the naked eye. Sometimes it is hidden and sometimes it cannot be repaired or reversed. Some of the damage can be repaired and PMR pups show us daily just how resilient they are. I only wish humans had the same capacity for forgiveness. But we can never make them truly whole. Each little life we manage to save bears scars from a horrific past. Am I suggesting that we failed, Kelsey? No. Kelsey was happy and loved. But, I made a mistake by leaving her unsupervised on Wednesday. Maybe I waited too long to make that last appointment. I don't know. But, I just couldn't bring myself to give up on her. We couldn't make Kelsey whole, but we did our best to show her love. In that we succeeded. Kelsey understood that she was loved and she was happy. She had the biggest smile of all our girls. Jan wrote that my faith is strong. Sometimes. Sometimes my faith is tested, and this has certainly tested it. But, I KNOW with all of my being that God is the only One who knew in advance what would happen and when and He was the only One Who could really change the outcome. For whatever reason, He chose not to do so. If I am not to blame God, then how can I blame myself when I could not have known? I may have to remind myself of this several times over the days and weeks and years ahead. But, for now, I believe it. Maybe Cindy is right and Morgan heard God's voice when I could not and did what needed to be done in order to grant Kelsey true freedom. I want to thank each and every one of you, dear friends, for your prayers and words of encouragement and support and love. We are truly blessed - blessed to have such wonderful little ones, wonderful families, remarkable friends. We are blessed, and oh so thankful, that Lexi and McKenna were spared. We are blessed to have loved and been loved by Kelsey. And we are blessed to have been attacked by the little monster under the bed with the ferocious growl and poopy breath. These two little girls touched a lot of lives in their short time with us and each girl left a lasting impression. We miss them. We will always miss them. But I wouldn't trade the joy of having them for anything, including the chance to avoid the pain of losing them. They were worth that and so much more. God bless you my friends, and may God's gentle hand continue to hold and shelter each and every life we hold dear. Dana Mommy to Chandra Leigh Tyler Bates (9/19/1990 to 7/28/2004) Sir Charles of Quinn (born 1/02/2000 and ours from the beginning) Lexi Anne Bates (adopted from YTRN on 9/12/2004 Kelsey Doodle Bug Bates (Ours, thanks to PMR, from Oct. 2004 to 11/17/2005) Morgan Elizabeth Bates (Ours, thanks to PMR, from April 2005 to 11/16/2005) McKenna Angelea Bates (Ours, thanks to PMR, since 5/06/2005) |
I thought there was a little more that you should know about Morgan. Morgan was in a puppy mill for three years, but was released because she refused to breed. Jackie fostered her for a while in Grand Prairie when we asked if we could take her, at least for a little while, after Abbi was adopted and moved to Florida. We took her into our home saying that we were just going to foster her. Well, that’s what we said. The first thing we noticed was how much fear there was in this little girl. She was afraid when someone reached for her. She was afraid when her food crunched too loudly. And she was even afraid when the hair on her face touched the side of her bowl. When we tried to give her a treat, she would lick at it, but her fear would not let her get close enough to take it out of our hand. But, even with all of that fear, Morgan loved for me to chase her. She would come up to me, do her dance and run looking back to see if I was coming. She would run to a comforter/dog bed in the hall that quickly became “Morgan’s room”. Morgan had one rule in her room. No fear. She would play and be a puppy with out flinching or squinting her eyes at the thought of being picked up. Many of you know that Morgan invented the game “Monster Under the Bed”. But before she could finish writing the rules, she had to hone her monster skills. To do this, she would crawl in my lap, get in my face and practice. She would make faces that would end with a playful snap at my nose. So, the second or third time she did this, I thought I would encourage the game by snapping back. As soon as I did it, I knew it was a bad idea. I knew that, not only was she not ready for something like that, but I just gave her a reason to be afraid of me. Morgan, though, saw it differently. She just looked at me as if to say “daddy, you’re silly” and quickly gave me a kiss. That is when I knew that she had chosen me. So, I thought I’d better do something quick before someone else chooses her. The next day I sent an email to the board telling them that Morgan would like permission to adopt me. I thought this would be easier since I knew there were fewer applications for me than there were for her. By the end of the day I got a message back telling me to let Morgan know that she can have me. Over the next weeks and months, our family grew closer. And, Morgan emitted a very large part of the love that filled our home. When she was scared, she came to me for comfort. When she felt playful, she came to me for a playmate. And, when everything was fine, she would just lie on the floor with a quiet and content face and look around at the home that was so clearly hers. When Kelsey’s demons became harder and harder for her to control Morgan didn’t realize the seriousness of it all and thought it was a game. She must have realized, though, on November 16 that it was not. Whether Morgan was trying to defend Lexi or herself, this scared little girl faced Kelsey and death with her eyes open and her boots on. And, whether you think she won or lost, she died with Kelsey’s hair in her mouth. Not Dana or I, or Lexi or Morgan fought Kelsey’s demons harder than Kelsey did. I know that, in the end, Morgan knew that. When I got home and Dana told me about the horrible scene she came home to, the first thing I asked was “where is she?”. Dana had lovingly put her in a box in the second bedroom, but warned me that she had not yet cleaned her up. I didn’t care, I had to see her. The first thing I noticed was that her eyes were still open. But when I looked into them, I didn’t see any fear. Instead, I saw that same quiet, content look that I had seen so many times as she lied on the floor simply absorbing the safety and calm of her home. I know that Kelsey and Morgan would both want us to do everything we could to free and care for as many mill dogs as we can and spread the word so that people will think long and hard about where and how to get their next dog. And, I know that if we can show them Morgan’s courage, and continue to fight for them without letting our petty hang ups get in the way, then when their time comes to cross over, they will tell her what her life meant. We never fully got Morgan over her fear. We never fully got her over her habit of eating poop. And, she would only walk on a leash if we were all going where she wanted to go. Morgan was her own unique spirit, and we would not have had it any other way. And, what I wouldn’t give for a poopy kiss right now. John and Dana Bates |
Sweet Morgan
| Morgan with her loving forever dad, John |
| Morgan - sweet, shy, brave angel in disguise |